


Of Chalks and Broken Pencils

by jishiny (orphan_account)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Elementary School, I swear it's not as bad as the tags make it to be but eh, M/M, Romance, SKZ as teachers, Slow-ish burn, Small mentions of mental health issues/conditions, angst if you squint, dont read if that makes you squirmish, it's not that bad i just dont know how to tag anything that aint a trigger, mentions of suicide and violence, small to mild high functioning anxiety attacks, very negative view on school and students
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-09-01 20:01:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16771903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/jishiny
Summary: Christopher Bang Chan is an English teacher that knows his school inside out and daily struggles with many things such as: not really getting his lessons through his students, being broke, having a dog that functions as his alarm clock, and most recently being annoyed mercilessly by a new teacher that is everything he ever wanted (to be)





	1. a 'bad' wednesday

**Author's Note:**

> If you're expecting regular updates [flips hair] it won't happen. This is a dumpster basically, as I myself am a teacher and would stab myself in the eye for a week off so /shrug emoji/
> 
> Also beware of possible strong language and pls read tags k tnx
> 
> Enjoy????

🍄

It's sitting cross-legged on his chair that is very worn down (the pins on the cushion dug into his butt), earbuds blasting a calming song trying to drown out the sound of the teens screaming on the gym - the sound carried to his classroom, fingers going through papers and more papers of work, that he starts to feel like today has been _too_ long already but it's not even 11:40 yet, having around 10 more hours of school and classes to go through.

It's very suffocating. He heard bad news that a student might be transferring this morning and it was enough to flip his whole day backwards already - it was a Wednesday.

But, he had a date tomorrow. 

The fact made him smile, giggling stupidly when the song on his phone changed to 'Chewing Gum'. The brightness of it helping shine some light on his hell-ish Wednesday.

It had been quite some time since he had had a date, with a man.

You see, Christopher Bang Chan, aka one of the school's longest running elementary teacher and everyone's favorite was bisexual; Ever since he broke up from a very serious relationship with another teacher - that eventually left the school - he just didn't have time to date. It's what he told himself, but honestly? He was afraid of trusting someone else that much again.

He was left quite brokenhearted - _very,_ actually - and just didn't have the courage to even open up to other people anymore. The cut he made on his left elbow when _she_ left was tickling, he almost died that night. He had almost given up his entire life for her and it hurt in a way nothing had ever hurt before.

His stomach growled, begging to be fed. A quick look at the clock told him he had around 20 minutes left until he could go heat up his food and have the first meal of the day. If it weren't for his dog he wouldn't have woken up at all. Trixie had jumped on his chest begging to be fed and that's when he realized he had turned off his alarm instead of snoozing it. School was a 15 minute drive and he had 7 minutes to get up, get his stuff and head out - to say he drove recklessly was an understatement, but he tried to keep his cool, he really did. Thankfully, to whatever God was smiling upon him he got at school at the exact time the bell ran off, giving him quite enough time to make his way up the stairs, pretending to be nice and waving to all students that called his name out, and stumble quite short-breathed into his class, only a couple rascals were inside anyways.

Today was going to be a 'fuck it' kind of day, he could feel it. It's not like he hated his job, oh no, au contraire, he loved it. Or perhaps he enjoyed it quite a lot. 

The feeling of extreme anxiety and frustration when the little shits didn't hear him out was numbed when he remembered the little glint, the 0,1-second sparkle in someone's eyes when they _finally_ understand the subject.

When a practice drill flows naturally and no one makes a mistake. When they all say good morning and have a good afternoon to him as they leave. How they stopped playing tricks with the couple in his class once he gave them a very stern talking to - yes they were around 12 years old - since two girls had been going everywhere with their hands held and they exchanged little messages and pecks on cheeks when they thought no one was watching (of course, when you become a teacher you naturally acquire a third and sometimes even a fourth eye).

Ten more minutes.

He cracked his knuckles and put his stuff away, knowing the bell would ring soon and the students would swarm around the halls trying to get away from the *prison*

_Riiiiiing_.

Bang Chan laced his fingers behind his head and stared out the window on his left. The weather was hot but the wind was chilly enough so it was bearable.

Many knocks against the glass door of his classroom informed of the 'welcome' presence of students saying 'hello'. He waved back to all of them with a bitter smile. "If only they knew" He muttered to himself, wondering just how many had helped his life there become hell and just how many were worth keeping being alive for.

He waited until the flow of students outside diminished to a few casual passersby who had nothing else better to do - apparently - to put the rest of his stuff away, grab his phone and keys and lock his classroom, he couldn’t really afford to eat out today but he would kill just to not have to socialize with the other teachers in their common room - he would miss Minho but he could live with that.

So he walked out towards the front door, stopping by Minho’s room to check inside, the man was erasing the notes on the whiteboard and he didn’t even have to knock on the door to get some attention, he gave him a full smile when he noticed him - the one that makes his eyes shine and Chan’s heart to clench - and quickly made his way to the door,

“Hey” He greeted him, Chan envied the way he looked so beautiful and actually ready for the afternoon classes, he didn’t have dark under eye bags like Chan did, his hair was perfectly done and he even smelled of a musky but soft cologne,

“Hi” He waved and made way to keep walking, only to be tugged back by his wrist, 

“Going out for lunch?” There was a hopeful sparkle in his eyes and Chan frowned a bit, “Yeah?” He really didn’t want Minho to ask him to pay him lunch, he wouldn’t be able to say no but he was really  _really _ broke at the moment,

“Can I join in?” He asked with a gentle smile, but Chan didn’t miss the way his jaw was clenched and his hands were fidgeting with the doorknob, “Sure, but I ain’t paying” At this Chan returned walking, not really waiting for Minho to get his stuff and join him, trying to hide a chuckle when he heard the other boy try to catch up to him half yelling half whispering a  _ ‘ wait!’ _

Chan smirked, maybe today wasn’t going to be so bad.

🍄

The day ended with only a few more existential crisis and sudden needs to get a book and stuff it down a student’s throat in hopes it’d teach them the past tense conjugation of regular verbs.

Chan was currently sitting in his car, eyes shut. All his stuff was thrown carelessly beside him and the car was ready to go out, but he needed a few minutes of quiet. A few minutes to recharge, otherwise, he risked ‘accidentally’ pulling too strong or not strong enough on the steering wheel on the way back home and ‘accidentally’ cause an accident that would hopefully resume in his de-

“What’re you doing?” There was a loud knock on the window beside him and Chan jumped, mentally cursing when his knee jerked up with the scare and hit the steering wheel,

“What the fuck?” Chan rolled down his window, “What the fuck?” repeating in a more audible manner at who else other than Lee Minho,

“I was going home but then I noticed you napping there, are you okay to be driving? Are you okay at all? I felt like you were going to stab me in the eye with your fork at least thrice today at lunch” Chan sighed and rolled his eyes, something about Minho made it impossible to be mad at him, but he had to fake annoyance, right?

“I was not napping, I was just recharging a bit before I commit suicide on the way back home” He deadpanned and watched with amusement as Minho ‘oooh’-ed at him, maybe staring a bit too much at his lips in the process,

“Sounds cool, anyways, wanna get some coffee?” He smiled brightly and propped his chin on the palm of his hand, using the window as a support until Chan hit the button that made it go back up and effectively win a whine from Minho,

“Not really, don’t take me wrong I’d love to, but all I wanna do is get home and actually maybe hopefully take a nap”

“No fun” Minho propped his hands on his waist and pouted, Chan couldn’t help but giggle at his childish attitude, missing the way Minho’s cheeks became a tad pinker,

“Sorry, that’s me,” Chan said and turned the key on the engine, hoping the lazy grumble of his car would make Minho leave him be for a second - not that he disliked his company, much au contraire, he really liked it but he needed some me-time,

“I don’t even get a goodbye kiss?” He asked faking exasperation, a loud gasp being covered by a dramatic hand over his mouth,

“Drama king” Chan muttered but chuckled, deciding instead to shoot him a quick wink he hoped he would miss, which he didn’t. He watched with fondness as Minho’s eyes widened in surprise only to be shaped into crescent moons as he smiled big right after, 

“Have a good evening Channie!” Chan almost let the car die at the nickname, shaking his head and coughing back the blush that wanted to spread over his face, pulling out of the parking lot and watching as Minho didn’t immediately go to his car, instead waved at him as he saw him through the rear-view mirror.

Maybe today wasn’t that bad at all.

🍄


	2. take it easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (pss, this chapter features mentions of a small/mild functional anxiety attack, but it's not thorough nor descriptive since it's seen from the other person's pov, but I just thought I should let you all know in case it's triggering/uncomfortable for anyone!)

🍄

  
  
It's weird to him really, how quickly attached he is getting to Minho.   
  
It's only their second date and he's already been invited in his apartment, refusing politely an offer of wine (he had to drive back home later anyway) but accepting a steaming perfect mug of coffee. They opted to watch a movie, a typical romcom playing in the background as they talked over it - they never seemed to run out of topics, even if Chan didn't consider himself a talkative person.   
  
Minho was just fun to be with. Comfortable. He didn't have to watch his words around him, he always got what he meant first try, he didn't have to be fake smiling all the time, he didn't have to pretend he was doing fine or that he loved his job near him. It's almost a weird connection you establish with someone. He always felt when Minho was nervous around him, taking in his social clues far easier than reading words on a blank page.   
  
If he were sappier on his words he would describe him as a 'soulmate' - but that word of itself held quite too much meaning, but he figured that's what it felt like. It was like Minho could see right through him with his shiny big doe eyes and his sharp smile.   
  
He was rendering Chan useless every time he looked at him and Chan wouldn't have it any other way.   
  
Minho was giggling high pitched at something he had said, and knowing he was the main cause of his laugh (the rest was due to the wine on his glass) made something warm spread through his chest. He hadn't felt that comfortable around someone for a long time, maybe too much a long time.   
  
Chan was crushing quickly, but it was fine. With a sip of his warm orangey-scented coffee, he thought it was a perfect analogy to their relationship so far. Bitter from all the complaining about their lives they did back and forth, sweet enough with positive reminders and comments one in a while, fragrant with the promise of a new thing they both could expect to bloom   
  


  
🍄   
  


  
"Hey!"    
  
_Smack_.   
  
Chan winced and frowned soon after his butt was slapped hard, an exasperated gasp left his lips as he whipped his head around to see who had dared to mess with him, only to be met with Minho's giggling figure standing behind him, hands on hips and chin up as though he had accomplished something great,   
  
"Excuse you?" He had tried to sound intimidating, but his voice came out weak, it was difficult to get mad at Minho when he was looking like an absolute masterpiece. Autumn clothing fitting his hair that he had dyed a tone or two lighter just last weekend, soft pink tinted cheeks and point of the nose as he was probably outside in the chilly air,   
  
"Sorry to surprise you, but I have a proposal"   
  
"I'm not ready to get married"    
  
Minho giggled throwing his head back, giving a full display of how his chest rumbled and collapsed on his own breaths trying to stop his unrhythmic laughing, making Chan unconsciously smile before he remembered he was supposed to be mad at Minho. His butt still stung a bit and he ran a hand through the muscle trying to ease the pain,   
  
"Not that way silly, it's about our year-end presentation" Chan's lips left an 'ooooh' and they remained in that form, nodding lightly.   
  
Minho was the art teacher and it was a big tradition of the school to have all classes perform some kind of piece, either music, acting, you name it at the last week of classes,    
  
"I'm not really confident in it because it's my first year here and the principal is giving me quite the pressure" Minho ran his eyes around the classroom nervously, rubbing his arm in the process as though he was actually worried the principal would pop up from under a chair and see them gossiping,   
  
"How can I help?" He smiled, but inside his heart tugged a bit, he really shouldn't be taking more than he can chew, and he knew to help Minho out would make his own year-end tests and quizzes a tad more difficult to make, let alone correct and grade,   
  
"I was actually thinking maybe we could do an assignment together? I already got permission from Mr. Kim, he just asked me to check if everything's alright with you" Minho refused to look him in the eye, instead gulping his nervousness frantically and nails starting to dig through the soft material of his cardigan, Chan didn't need much to recognize the younger was having a small to maybe mild anxiety fix,   
  
"Let's sit down to talk," He pulled him by the hand, noticing how clammy and cold it felt and brought him to sit on the chairs right in front of his own table, Minho seeming to appreciate the gesture, he nodded and licked his lips nervously,   
  
"Well you see, I was thinking of having them act would be less time consuming for both them and me" at this Chan smiled and was happy to see Minho returned it (yes, sometimes teachers gave different works to be done not because they appreciated diversity but maybe because they were as tired as the students and both needed some breathing), "I thought classics since we studied them in the first semester and they know it a bit already, but they're all English classics" At this Chan finally started to see where he was going,   
  
"So you were thinking of having them present it in the original English script or something?" He cursed himself a bit, the actual English of the classical pieces he knew the students had studied were quite hard, but Minho was really nervous right now and if he had to pull a couple all-nighters to make the scripts easier for the students and for Minho, he would.   
  
Minho didn't answer, but nodded vigorously, frantically searching Chan's face for any sign of rejection of his idea, "It's fine by me" Chan shrugged and felt the exact moment Minho exhaled his anxiety away. He wondered why asking him this had put him in such a tight spot, he wondered if it was a random anxious attack or if something about the topic made him uncomfortable, but he knew better than to ask at the moment.   
  
He wondered if it was because he was afraid he would refuse the idea, or wouldn't want to do it because of the extra hassle. He wondered if it was because Minho was always so self-assured that the idea of having to depend or rely on someone else made him feel like so.   
  
But with a tight squeeze on his hands that were in cold fists and a soft peck on his nose, the younger visibly breathed in for maybe the first time since he had entered that classroom.   
  


🍄

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /squints/ weirdly i have nothing to say huh, i hope you enjoyed???????????


	3. the start of something new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [accidentaly forgets i had this ready since wednesday]

🍄

It's with a sigh that he finally shuts his laptop's screen down, maybe a bit louder than he should, but honestly, the lid escaped his fingers and he winced a bit at the sound it made - he hadn't intended that.   
  
It's with another one that he runs his hands through his hair in exhaustion,    
  
"Finally done" A look at the clock read 2:37 am, he had to be at school at 6:30 am and he had  _ just _ finished translating and editing the scripts for the rehearsals that started the next day but he guessed it was fine, deprivation of sleep is the least of his worries anyways.   
  
He made his way to his bedroom lazily, not really wanting to go to sleep because he knew he would feel worse in the morning.

🍄

  
"Can you say that with more passion or is that all you got?" Minho screamed from his side, his voice reverberating the loudness of it all throughout the auditorium. Chan winced and retreated to his side as it hit him square in his eardrums. The girl who was performing rolled her eyes far enough to give any sane person a small tug of pain to have her eyes showing complete white and then grunted, repeating her lines not with more passion but at least with a better tone of voice -  _ ‘still not good enough though’,  _ Chan added mentally.   
  
"Fine, that'll be it from you two" The other boy who looked just as unpleased as Chan to be there shrugged and hopped off the stage with a clumsy jump,   
  
"They're so cute" He added sarcastically and watched as a corner of Minho's mouth tugged upwards, 

"I know" he replied with a huff, "Next!" 

They kept at it for the whole morning, eventually having watched all couples perform a piece of Romeo and Juliet, Minho commenting on their acting and Chan on their English. They had been doing this for one whole period already and then the kids would have lunch and they would have around less than an hour to recharge batteries before they had the afternoon classes.   
  
Two or three more couples performed before the bell rang and they all swarmed out of the auditorium in hurries to get away from their teachers - they couldn't blame it though, they also wanted to run away sometimes,    
  
"Finally" Chan brought his index fingers to his temples, massaging the area in hopes to alleviate the stress, "I think I can finally hear my own thoughts" Minho chuckled and stood up, stretching his arms and then jumping in place a few times to get his blood running,   
  
"Let's go for lunch too?" He gave him his hand and despite not needing it to stand up from his seat Chan took it and appreciated the gesture, silently holding on to it for a second longer, squeezing it lightly while smiling before letting go,   
  
"Your treat?"   
  
"Of course not"   
  
"Knew it" Minho chuckled again and Chan wondered how he was even able to make such angelic laughs come out from his lips.   
  
He followed him out of the auditorium and into the teacher's kitchen and resting place, cursing for having to greet everyone there and make small talk while they ate. It was definitely something he hated, he sometimes just wished they all noticed no one really wanted to be doing anything but eating in silent dread for the upcoming afternoon classes. At least Minho’s company made it less bad.

🍄

One thing he was thankful for having these classes together with Minho was that they were seeing each other a lot. A lot as in they sat together and were together for at least one hour and twenty minutes each day. It's not like they had any time at all for themselves, they couldn't even steal glances at each other in fears that the students would notice. But just being in the same room and knowing you were not alone was enough.   
  
Besides, there was a lot less paperwork he had to do now, the students seemed to be thankful for that part too, since they weren't in class listening to Mr. Boring-Chan ramble on about sentence tenses and yadda yadda or having to sit through crazy Artsy Minho explaining how you couldn't just use black to shade stuff - it was a pet peeve of his and Chan made jokes about it all of the time (" _ You use purple or brown Chan, black bleeds everywhere!!" _ )   
  
Still, it was nice. They had agreed to go out for coffee (Minho's treat after a lot of whining from Chan and maybe a peck on his cheek as thanks), Chan had never gone to that specific place but he had heard a lot about it. The place was vintage-looking and very home-y and nice. Cinnamon and vanilla scents drowned the coffee place in the inside and Chan felt immediately hugged in a warm blanket, letting Minho guide him with a hand on his waist to one of his favorite spots,   
  
"Here" He plopped on the booth quite messily and Chan sat across from him, enjoying the spot truly, they were near but not so near the entrance, a window to their side letting them watch out the traffic and the sun setting behind the tall buildings. The warm air from the AC got to them gently and warmed up their cold hands and feet, Minho playing with his under the table,   
  
"Cats or dogs?"    
  


🍄

Maybe they stayed at the café a bit too long, it was already quite dark outside when they went out, Chan offering Minho to come to his place and cook them dinner, which the younger refused - it was his cooking day at his shared apartment and if he didn't cook for his dongsaeng he was going to nag at him all day long the next day (which Chan believed, the last time he had gone to his apartment he hadn't seen the other boy but just seeing through an open door how his room was messy and unclean he wondered if maybe Minho wasn't living with an actual child), but still, he let him walk him home, their places were only a few blocks from each other anyway.   
  
Almost as though he were in a romantic movie, his chest started pounding loudly inside his chest, they were walking awfully close, shoulders and hands brushing each other once in a while. They still didn't have a name for what they were.   
  
They were certainly a bit more than friends, but less than boyfriends.    
  


_ Boyfriends _ .   
  
The word buzzed in Chan's mind sweetly, stirring up feelings of wanting to be mushy and cuddly with someone else that he had drowned for a long time. He had truly missed dating, and going out with Minho felt right.   
  
He looked at his profile, gazing up the stars that were starting to appear in the sky.   
  
Minho was more beautiful than maybe all girls he had ever dated. And at the same time maybe more handsome than all the boys too. He was gentle yet frantic, he was intelligent yet a tad crazy, he had a good body and always kept his image clean. He had never made Chan feel uncomfortable or skittish. Besides, he had a wonderful personality and was really fun to be around.   
  
"Hey," He brought it up with a fake cough as they reached his apartment, pulling on Minho's hand before he walked up the few steps that led to the entrance of the building, "What are we?" He voiced it out and watched as Minho held a breath inside his chest, he hadn't wanted to catch the younger on the headlights but he had been meaning to ask,   
  
"I don't know..." He answered letting go of his breath, voice small, looking at his feet to avoid eye contact but holding Chan's hand a bit tighter, "Whatever you want us to be"   
  
The thought made Chan's heart race, mind buzzing again wondering what would be of them, how they would work it out and whatnot, but when he stepped a bit closer noticing with relief when Minho didn't shrink nor move away, instead met his eyes with his shiny big ones, quick warm breaths puffing on his cheek as his hands crawled up unsure before settling against Chan's chest. He leaned in and silently asked Minho if he wanted the same thing with a  _ look  _ as the younger closed his eyes and leaned in too, their lips meeting along the way in a tender and soft embrace.   
  


🍄


	4. softness is how i spell your name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: small description of a high functioning anxiety attack.

🍄

"So,"

"So..."

"Don't you think we should get going?" Despite the question, Chan traced Minho's jawline with his thumb, watching the immaculate skin under his finger from the safe place on his shoulder,

"Do you really think they care if we're late?"

"I know they don't" Minho smiled at him,

"But you do, don't you?"

He sighed loudly and got up, stretching his arms over his head and grumbling as all muscles from his body refused to leave the comfy couch and protested against the warmth from Minho's body that now was missing,

"You know me..." In fact, Minho did know him. He was often shocked at how much they had gotten to know each other and were getting used to each other so much recently, they were basically inseparable.

Minho didn't answer, instead ran a hand through his hair and sighed too, getting up and pecking Chan's cheek before he left without saying goodbye or anything else. Chan imagined that if he was going to be four minutes late, he could be seven minutes late and at least get his thermal coffee mug refilled with the bitter drink - he was going to need it.

🍄

It's around the fifth performance that Chan lifts his coffee mug to his lips only to find it already empty - he had done the same thing for the third time now,

"I know it's boring," Minho's tone of voice was apologetic despite the presence of an actual apology,

"It's fine, it's a bit more entertaining than regular classes anyways" Chan adds, setting his mug aside and sparing Minho a side glance from his peripheral vision, he was sitting cross-legged and with his arms crossed in front of his chest. His face solemn and his eyes focused on the duo on the stage, nose slightly scrunched every time they did something wrong out of annoyance,

"Romeo? Did you even memorize your lines?" Minho calls out of a sudden, causing the Romeo in question to quirk an eyebrow at Minho in a defying pose and scoff when the Juliet rolls her eyes at him,

"Of course not, I had soccer practice on the weekend" Minho sighs exasperated, he knew it was a poor excuse even if it was true, torn between wanting to be petty and nag at the student for not practicing enough and wanting to acknowledge that even if the boy slacked around in purpose, he did it for a reason and Minho shouldn't be too demanding,

"Just get it memorized by next week, can you do that?" Chan suggested, feeling Minho's gaze not leave his face as he searched for something in it,

"I guess...-" The boy opened his mouth as though he had more to say, but not wanting to give him time to finish and jeopardize their deal, Chan announced,

"Next!"

🍄

They kept at it for a long time, both teachers groaning out of frustration and feeling their patience grow thinner by every passing minute. They couldn't help it though, hearing the same lines be read over and over and over _and over_ again was not only extremely boring but it was starting to feel dull - it's like when you first hear a song and then it plays on repeatedly to the point you get annoyed by listening to it even for a second, no matter how much you liked it originally. 

So, after all the students left the auditorium, they stayed in the quiet for a bit, Chan let his head hit the chair's support behind him and closed his eyes, he was able to listen to Minho's soft but deep breathing and the small sounds of papers as the man collected their stuff,

"Wanna go to mine's?" Minho suggested making Chan open his eyes and face him, he looked dead tired,

"Yeah, sure" He agreed and with a small smile - everything that he could provide at the moment, he patted his thighs as he got up and helped Minho gather their stuff, it took a few minutes only until they were walking together to Minho's car in the school's parking lot.

🍄

It's a few make-out sessions later in that same night after they've had dinner and were hanging out in his apartment that Minho suddenly announces he likes him. It comes unnoticed, out of the blue, like lightning across the sky but Chan doesn't get to hear it hit the ground, just _hear_ the flash as it makes his eyes widen and the breath be kicked out of his lungs.

"Sorry" Almost immediately, after a second of realization of what he had said, Minho makes to stand up from their position on his couch but is held back by a soft but tugging hand wrapped around his wrist, Chan tries to ignore how his touch that was just a few seconds ago so warm was now icy cold,

"No, it's fine" He pulls Minho to sit back down and face him, he notices he can't and keeps avoiding his eyes. Chan has seen this behavior a lot and knows better than to inquiry, so he lets go of his hold on his wrist and wiggles into the seat onto a better position to face Minho more comfortably, a poor excuse to put some more space between them so he could feel better, hopefully,

"Sorry, I don't know what came over me" His hands are fisted on his lap on his jeans and his eyes are frantically burning holes in his carpet,

"It's okay," Chan breathes in, "I just wasn't expecting it" He offers a smile that Minho misses, Chan can see the way his chest collapses on itself, he was trying to control his breathing but failing. The signals Minho was having an anxiety crisis were always so subtle, but they were there nevertheless.

He could see in the way Minho nervously licked his lips and spared him a quick glance that he wanted to apologize again, but didn't - probably because he felt like it was starting to become annoying, Chan could recognize those body language signs in anyone, it was easy and his sense grew with the profession he had,

"I think I like you too" He added and saw Minho hold his breath, he held it for as long as he could until Chan started talking again,

"To be fair, I don't really know. It's been a long time since I've even felt attracted to anyone again, and you truly make me feel a lot of things," at this, Minho's mouth faltered in the ghost of a smile, Chan saw him breathe in again, chest trembling in the process, "you make me feel safe, comfortable, and… a-as cheesy as it sounds," Minho looked at him in expectation, eyes paying him full attention, his lips parted and, Chan noticed, purple-ish looking, like he was cold, swallowing the feelings bubbling up inside his chest and deciding there was no better time to talk this out than right now,

"You kinna' make me feel like home" He inspected Minho's face for a sign of discomfort, of shock, of anything negative he might need to remedy right away, but when he didn't show anything, instead turned his face away from him on a soft exhale with his eyes blinking fast, Chan continued,

"I know it sounds like too much, but I just feel like I can be myself with you, you know?" Minho nodded with a genuine smile, and when he spoke, he had to cough his words out, his voice was choked up for some reason,

"I know" He nodded and Chan visibly sighed in relief. He patted the space next to him on the couch and after Minho's eyes followed his hands' movements and then flickered to his face for a second, he let himself move centimeters closer to Chan and let him pull him into a tight hug.

Minho forgot how much sometimes a simple embrace could mean so much.

🍄


	5. Last but not Least

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I know it took me a whole millennia to post this last part, but idk how many of you know this; Not only have I been in a huge, terrible, awful streak of bad luck this new year, this fic also was one I worked on when I was too overwhelmed with my own students - and vacation time was not exactly proper for me to be writing it.
> 
> However, yesterday the power at my house went off, and I had absolutely nothing to do so I forced this last chapter out. I know it's not so good, neither is this whole work, but it is complete!
> 
> Thank you all that read this and a special thank you for all of you that took a few seconds off your day to write a comment, those really are what made my day!

🍄

It's on the day of the presentation, that Chan finally understands.

He finally understands that what he felt was 'missing' from his previous relationship was the simple act of caring. Care. That was it.

When he woke up, head a bit throbby from having slept too little, with a silver hue of light slipping past his old dusty curtains trying to reach the feet of his bed in some sort of comfort, he noticed a red flashing led light from his phone. A quick double tap on the black screen and he found out he had woken up just minutes before his alarm did it. He saw the notification he had received a new message.

Curious, because he usually didn't get those unless they were some sort of warning from his credit card company or a distant relative that had found out God-knows-how his phone number, he swiped his password in and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. In the few seconds that it took his eyes to grow accustomed to the glow from the screen, he was already sitting in bed and searching with his feet on the ground for the fluffy slippers that he knew was there somewhere.

What he was not expecting, was that the first words he'd come in contact with from another person on that chilly silver day were a simple and gentle _"Good Morning!"_ from none other than Lee Minho.

Chan smiled. Breathed in deep trying to ignore the sting behind his eyes, he didn't want to cry so early in the morning. Maybe feeling emotional after a simple good morning text was too much and not something Grown Up Chan should be doing, but he couldn't help it.

He had crossed his mind, he had thought about him, and cared enough to type a simple quick text to wish him a good day.

Bang Chan felt stupid right then and there, but he was stupidly falling.

🍄

It's at the moment of the start of the presentations. The students are looking among each other, wondering who will be the pair to have the ' _honor_ ' to start the presentations.

A few couples are rehearsing their lines last minute, a few are talking. A few managed to not care and were on their phone or doing mock quizzes at each other for the mathematics test they were going to have next period.

Minho smiles at them with a chest too full of mischief and expectancy, Chan watches a few students glance at the teacher and try to avoid eye contact,

"So, let's go by alphabetical order shall we?"

A couple groans, a couple sighs, and a couple of no reaction at alls take place on the few seconds that it took for Minho to turn around, grab a sheet of paper with his - surprisingly - messy handwriting and shout out with a loud high voice two names from the top of the list, Chan put a hand on his shoulder and looked at the names, mumbling them and looking for the same names on his call sheet, ready to evaluate their English. He tried, as best as he could, to ignore the want the sniff the faint scent of soap coming off from Minho's hair.

The two teachers took their seats beside each other on the front row of the auditorium, Minho giving the couple on the stage a thumbs up to signal their start - followed by a quite loud sigh from the Juliette and a roll of eyes from the Romeo that was clearly trying his best.

The morning passed as quickly as it came, and when Chan noticed, it was already noon, half the students were already gone and Minho's stomach was grumbling as he patted his tummy with a whine,

"Pay me lunch?" He pouted and plopped dramatically to his shoulder, still looking at Chan with his big doe eyes, shiny as ever and the chocolate in them inviting Chan for a cozy afternoon date on a hill, far away from civilization,

"I'm poor Minho" Chan hoped the statement would be enough to convince Minho that he himself was already struggling to pay his own lunch, imagine someone else's,

"I'll pay you back!" He whined and now his pout was of a kid that was ready to throw a tantrum,

"You're more broke than I am" He laughed silently and skillfully avoided the light kick on his leg that Minho transferred,

"I didn't say how" Minho smirked and Chan whipped his head at him. He saw the face of a man that was sure on his words, of a man that had nothing to lose and that was willing to do anything to have his lunch be paid by someone else,

"Correct my homework for this week"

"A whole fucking week??" Chan winced at the volume of his voice, but Minho's eyes were huge in surprise and his jaw was hitting the floor, he had gripped the seat's armrest and had practically screamed at Chan's ears,

"Okay, fine! From wednesday to friday" Chan snapped his fingers by his ears to test his hearing - simply to annoy Minho, earning himself a huff from the other teacher,

"Deal" Minho shook his hand and grinned, a blinding smile that made Chan give him one of his own before he pulled him by his hand and stole a quick peck from his lips.

Chan couldn't see himself living forever with Minho, that was too soon to be imagining. But he could easily see the two of them doing so many things, going on all the dates they ever wanted, spending all their time off together snuggled up to each other, enjoying each other's presence and company.

They often stayed in silence. Chan liked making small commentaries - usually, all trivia - of all the little things he suddenly remembered that he thought maybe Minho would like. Like when they were watching a movie about people with blue eyes and Chan taught him that blue eyes weren't actually blue. Minho always showed interest in all that he showed him, even if it was something not quite up his alley, and to be honest? Chan loved when Minho spoke the most.

He loved when the other would just not _shut up_ about something that he took a strong liking to. He loved when the other rambled and answered all the questions Chan asked as though he had rehearsed it. He loved to see his big bright eyes shine with intensity at the stuff he loved - Chan quickly learned, that documentaries were Minho's thing.

And it just felt different.

In a good way.

To be able to trust so much, and know, with full certainty, that you were safe. That you were appreciated, that you were loved.

🍄

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Happines is as a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you._
> 
> \- N. Hawthorne


End file.
